Arise (Awakened Fate Book 4) Page 3

  I shook my head, driving the worries away. We could have gone anywhere. They wouldn’t just automatically know we were here.

  The front door creaked.

  I jumped a mile.

  Noah hesitated, one hand on the door handle. “Sorry.”

  Swallowing, I motioned dismissively.

  He closed the door behind him and then came over to the porch swing.

  A heartbeat passed after he sat down. “You doing okay?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  Silence fell.

  “You?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  I couldn’t quite bring myself to look at him.

  “We should talk, eh?” he tried.

  My gaze slid toward him, making it about halfway before giving up. “Yeah, I guess.”

  A second stretched like a rubber band, ready to snap.

  “So… you and that Zeke guy.”

  My stomach sank.

  “How, um… how long’s that been going on?”

  I hesitated, suddenly feeling as though I’d prefer having Noah’s cousins to deal with than this non-conversation. Maybe, anyway.

  “Not long.”

  He was silent at the words.

  “After the beach that last time,” I managed. “A… a while after that.”

  I waited, not quite looking at him and feeling like he could see through the lie. It’d been minutes after Noah drove me off, threatening me and saying all sorts of horrible things, that I’d kissed Zeke.

  And it’d been an accident.

  Though everything since then hadn’t been.

  “Ah,” Noah replied.

  My gaze lifted to him.

  He was watching the street. “I didn’t want to do that. Say… what I said that day. I hated myself for doing that to you. I just–”

  “I know.”

  He glanced back at me. I dropped my gaze to the wood slats of the porch.

  “I really thought I was making you safer,” he continued. “Even if I didn’t want you to go. I’d wanted to see you again. I’d hoped we could, you know…”

  He let out a breath, so much more than frustration in the sound.

  I couldn’t look at him. I knew what he was saying, though, and the realization sent quivers running through me. He’d kissed me the moment before I left for the ocean that first time, and in the days after, I’d wondered what it meant to him, and that maybe it hadn’t mattered all that much. I hadn’t wanted to get ahead of myself, after all, or make a fool of myself if everything I’d felt hadn’t been reality on his side. But I’d wanted to come back and find out if this guy I’d liked for so long actually felt the same way about me.

  Now I knew.

  “Me too,” I whispered.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw him turn to look at me.

  “And now,” he continued. His hand moved over, and I tensed when it brushed mine. “Now, I just want to know if you can forgive me.”

  Noah’s fingertips strayed across the inside of my wrist. I drew a halting breath, my gaze lifting again to his.

  “I’m so sorry, Chloe. For all of it. Everything that’s come down on you because of me. I’m sorry.”

  I trembled at the look in his dark green eyes. At the feeling of his hand on my own, and the memory of how he’d held it all those weeks ago when the dehaian stuff was new and the worst thing in the world was finding out I wasn’t human.

  “Of course I forgive you,” I said.

  His other hand came up, brushing back my hair from my cheek. Warm shivers ran through me, like electricity that didn’t hurt at all.

  “I missed you,” he continued softly.

  I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice. “I missed you too.”

  He came closer and my gaze fell, tracing the line of his cheek. I could feel his warm breath on my neck, his lips barely an inch from mine.

  And my own breath caught. I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t… not with Zeke asleep in the living room only a few yards from us. I wanted to. I wanted that day when Noah had kissed me back again, and all the days with him that’d come before. I wanted to feel his lips on mine.

  But things were so much more complicated now.

  I turned away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him straighten, his brow furrowing.

  “I-I’m sorry,” I managed. “I just–”

  “No,” he said tightly. “Yeah, I…”

  I looked back when his hand left mine. He wouldn’t meet my eyes.

  “I get it,” he continued. “I… I’m sorry too.”

  He hesitated and then pushed to his feet, heading for the door.

  “Noah…”

  “Goodnight, Chloe.”

  He disappeared back inside.

  It took me a moment to pull my gaze from the door to the empty street. My fingers rested on the place where he’d held my hand, the skin so much colder now for the loss of his touch.

  Air pressed from my chest, threatening to turn into a sob, and I fought to keep it from emerging. It wasn’t fair. I liked Noah. For years, I’d liked him. But Zeke was wonderful too. There weren’t words for the way he made me feel when he looked at me or when he held me in his arms. Both he and Noah were incredible, and I couldn’t stop myself from being drawn to either of them any more than I could break the hold of gravity.

  My eyes closed as tears burned. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair.

  And I didn’t know what to do.

  Chapter Two

  Zeke

  The shadows of the study were deep, swallowing all but the small lights blinking on the computers nearby. Beneath my back, the sofa sagged in odd places, as though some parts had worn down farther with time than others.

  I knew I should sleep. Exhaustion pulled like weights attached to my muscles, driven partly by the unidentifiable drugs that bastard had put in my system, though the dull buzz of pain didn’t help either. My legs had stopped the worst of their aching a few hours ago, and my scales had long since been able to turn into skin. But within my arms, phantom pain still pulsed strangely from the spikes that Harman had cut off. I didn’t know how it was possible for them to hurt – the spikes grew because of magic more than a physical presence beneath our skin – but my body didn’t seem to care.

  As if responding to my thoughts, a space on my forearm began to ache worse. Distractedly, I rubbed at it.

  I hadn’t said anything to Chloe about what happened. There wasn’t any point. What was done was done, and I didn’t want her worrying about me. I was feeling better than I had been, after all, and the spikes would grow back. Eventually, anyway.

  And I didn’t want to sleep. Chloe was outside alone, nearly invisible in the shadows of the enclosed porch, but alone nonetheless. I couldn’t believe anyone had agreed when she’d insisted we go to bed and she stay up doing that. I wasn’t about to leave her without someone watching her back, though. There was still a chance one of the innumerable people after her would find out she was here.

  I shifted around on the couch and peered through the crack between the curtains. A few yards down the length of the porch, she sat on the swing, her gaze on the darkened street. In the shadows, her auburn hair looked almost black, though her eyes still seemed to catch the light, glinting deep green. She hadn’t changed them to see better through the darkness, which made me uncomfortable even if it was probably smart. A person with glowing eyes would attract attention if anyone in the neighborhood happened to glance outside.

  But I didn’t like her not doing everything she could to stay safe.

  A creak sounded from the second floor and my gaze twitched up. Footsteps came closer to the stairs.

  I leaned back into the pillows, looking more like I was asleep. I didn’t really feel like talking to anybody here, and if that was Olivia and she was proving not to be as willing to help as she and Ellie had claimed…

  My eyes closed. The footsteps came down the steps and paused.


  I kept my breathing even and worked to stop my remaining spikes from emerging.

  The front door opened. Closed.

  I opened my eyes.

  No one was in the study. I sat up and looked past the curtain again.

  It was that Noah guy, sitting down next to Chloe on the swing. His voice was low when he spoke to her, the words indecipherable, and her response was the same. I couldn’t see her face – he’d taken the seat on the far side of her, making her turn his way, and all I could see was the edge of him past her hair – but I could read her tension in the way she was sitting.

  I made myself draw a breath. He liked her. I wasn’t stupid, and it’d take some serious brain trauma not to see that. Everything he’d done to keep his cousins away from her aside, he’d kissed her before she’d left Santa Lucina that first time, and the way he’d been watching her when she wasn’t looking made it more than clear that his feelings hadn’t changed.

  And he knew about things between me and Chloe. That was also obvious.

  When it came to that last, though, I didn’t really care. Chloe was one of the most incredible people I’d ever met and she’d chosen to be with me.

  After what he did to hurt her, anyway.

  I pushed the thought aside. That didn’t matter. There was no telling how things might have gone if I’d realized earlier what I was feeling for her. For all I knew, this could have started sooner, and what that guy had done wouldn’t have changed a thing. I wasn’t going to give his actions credit for what I had with Chloe.

  And meanwhile, I wanted to be with her. I was going to make damn sure I gave her plenty of reasons to still want to be with me.

  The guy’s hand rose to her face, pushing away her hair. I tensed. A heartbeat passed and he leaned closer.

  Shivers coursed through me.

  And then she turned away.

  I exhaled. I couldn’t tell if she’d kissed him. I couldn’t tell anything. But a moment later, Noah stood. He hesitated, saying something to her, and then returned to the door.

  My attention was locked on Chloe. She seemed upset. Like something had happened, though I wasn’t certain which of the two possibilities it was. But she also didn’t look elated, or like she’d fallen back into his arms.

  I glanced over when the front door closed. In the entryway, Noah paused. His head turned back in Chloe’s direction, though the rest of him was still enough to be stone.

  He released a breath, the sound of it shaky. And then he looked over at me.

  I didn’t know if he could see me in the shadows. Much more than the rough shape of me, anyway. From what I could tell, greliarans didn’t have the same visual abilities as dehaians, and regardless, his eyes weren’t glowing.

  I let my own change, bringing him into sharp focus and dispelling the darkness.

  His jaw muscles jumped at the sight. I could see the tension in his face, and in the way his hand trembled. His fingers moved, as if he was fighting to keep them from curling into a fist, and then his head twitched toward Chloe again.

  He exhaled, short and sharp. A quiver shook him.

  Without a word, he turned and climbed the stairs.

  I realized I hadn’t been breathing, and air filled my lungs quickly. I glanced to Chloe.

  She’d looked at the street, but now her eyes were closed. Out in the open, all alone, and her eyes were closed.

  Tears glistened on her cheeks.

  My hand moved to push the blanket away and then I hesitated. Regardless of what just happened, she probably didn’t want me out there. I was itching to go outside, to learn what had passed between her and Noah, and to keep her safe as well, but I wasn’t a fool. I knew I had to give her a moment.

  Even if I wanted to hurt anything that had hurt her. Anyone, for that matter.

  I took another breath. I’d talk to her tomorrow. Or in an hour. Or the second she looked like she wouldn’t push me away. But in the meantime, I didn’t have to leave her unprotected.

  My gaze returned to the neighborhood while I shifted around on the lumpy couch, sitting up to avoid sleep claiming me. I could go another night without rest. Exhaustion be damned, she was distracted right now. And while it was unlikely that her parents or the police would show up, or that the greliaran guy’s cousins were anywhere around, unlikely wasn’t the same as impossible.

  And the loss of a little rest was a tiny price for helping Chloe stay safe.

  Chapter Three

  Noah

  I climbed the stairs, fighting with every step not to go back down to the living room and have it out with that dehaian. I didn’t know what I planned to say. I wasn’t sure saying anything was the plan. Shivers rippled through my core, driven by anger and God knew what else, and it was everything I could do to keep my skin from changing.

  But I wouldn’t be like that. Wouldn’t lose control. And pummeling the guy wouldn’t fix anything, or endear me to Chloe either.

  No matter how tempting it was.

  I shuddered harder, struggling to keep my greliaran side at bay. Zeke was wary of me, I knew. I’d heard the fact he hadn’t breathed till after I left the living room. Some part of me was glad I put him on edge.

  The rest of me didn’t know what to feel.

  My feet stopped at the top of the stairs. On my right, Olivia’s bedroom door was closed and the gap beneath it was dark as if the lights within were off. At the end of the hall, the guest room door stood open, and through it I could see Baylie and Ellie asleep on either side of the large bed. I’d insisted they take it. I wasn’t going to make one of them sleep on the floor.

  A breath escaped me. It wasn’t just kindness to them. I was exhausted; I’d barely slept for two days, and the old wizards who’d made us apparently hadn’t seen fit to give greliarans the dehaians’ ability to stay awake for damn near ever. But I didn’t want to sleep, so they might as well have the bed. And tiredness or not, I would’ve stayed outside with Chloe if she’d wanted me to be there. I refused to leave her to keep watch by herself. Not when she was the target in all this – more than the rest of us, anyway – and when, in this quiet, I could hear a good chunk of the neighborhood if I tried. I’d probably know if anyone was heading our way long before they came into view.

  At least, I hoped.

  But regardless, I didn’t want to sleep.

  I crossed to the tiny window on the opposite wall from the stairwell. The street was dark, with only a few porch lamps to break the blackness, though most of the lights just caught on the large pines near the houses and created deep pools of shadow on the trees’ other sides. Wisps of clouds drifted through the sky, hazing over the stars and veiling the moon, and through the cracks around the old window frame, I could catch whiffs of evergreen on the night air.

  My hand curled into a fist and my arm rested above my head on the wall, bracing me beside the window. I’d needed to go out there. I’d needed to talk to her and know for certain what was between her and that guy. I mean, I’d been pretty sure. It was practically written all over them.

  But I’d still needed to hear it from her.

  And now…

  My arm trembled with the urge to hit the wall.

  Truthfully, it wasn’t this guy that bothered me. Not really. Or, maybe just not entirely. I hated the sight of him, yes, and would happily chuck him into the nearest body of water and leave him there to rot, but that wasn’t the point. He’d been there. He’d probably comforted her, and talked to her, and made her feel safe. And I hadn’t. Instead, I’d been the one to hurt her. To drive her away. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t had much of a choice at the time. Or that my cousins would have killed her. Or that there hadn’t been any opportunity to explain.

  It didn’t change what I’d done.

  So it made sense she’d looked elsewhere after what happened. I got that. I hated it, but I got it. I just didn’t want to leave things that way. I wanted a chance to fix this. To make it up to her and get back t
o what we’d started to have before those dehaian bastards drugged her and she’d been forced to leave.

  And punching Zeke wouldn’t do that. Probably not, anyway.

  Grimacing, I scrubbed my other hand over my face, ordering myself to stay awake and focus. I’d figure something out – something that didn’t involve breaking the face of that dehaian. I’d get her back, and I’d do my damnedest never to hurt her again.

  I wasn’t going to let things between me and Chloe end like this.

  Chapter Four

  Chloe

  It was strange how, even when you’d been watching the darkness all night, sunrise could still take you by surprise. One minute, the sky was dark, and the next, you realized the world was easier to see.

  Though maybe I was just distracted. I had, after all, spent the entire night torn between the desire to pace furiously and the impulse to cry about the stupid, complicated mess my life had become.

  Drawing a shaky breath, I attempted to focus back on the street. Nothing had happened all night long, barring a few stray cats wandering through the darkness and the occasional cry of some wild animal. Within the past several minutes, curtains had started to pull back on the windows of houses along the street, the early risers letting the barest hints of morning light into their homes while they got ready for the day. But that was all.

  The front door opened, breaking the stillness. Baylie stuck her head outside.

  She paused at the sight of me. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  “You’re still up,” she said, awkwardly stating the obvious.

  I nodded.

  “You doing alright?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Baylie hesitated and then came the rest of the way onto the porch. Wordlessly, she crossed to the swing and sat down.

  A moment passed.

  “Noah told me you don’t… you don’t need to sleep anymore.”